Getting What You Want From Other People


“ Hi, I would like to see you to discuss my plans, my needs or my problem.”

What do you notice about this request?

It’s self-centred. Actually, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with that.

But here is the catch: we are all self-centred including the person whose help you need.

The problem with this request is that it says nothing about how the other person whose time is being asked for will benefit.

Do you want to be the kind of person who easily gets things from others? Minimise on being self –centred and remember that everybody else is naturally self-centred.
As Rodger Duncan says “That’s not to suggest that most people are selfish. It’s simply a fact that personal context is usually the first filter we use to evaluate our environment.”

Instead ask yourself, what will be the benefit to the other person? By the way, money is not always the answer.
Have you heard of an acronym WIIFM. It stands for ‘What’s In It For Me.’
It’s called WII fm radio, the only radio station every human being is tuned to.

It’s a principle applicable to sales and marketing, leadership, relationships and can be used just about any time you need other people to cooperate with you.

We all naturally and instinctively ask the question: what’s in it for me when we see a request, proposal or opportunity. It’s human nature.
Every person has needs, regardless of social status, age or gender. If you can identify one and show that your request can in one way or another help that person, you will get better results.

I am not saying it will always work but taking the other person’s needs into consideration when making any kind of request will take you a long way in getting better answers from others.

The key is to be honest and realistic about what you can offer in return.

2 thoughts on “Getting What You Want From Other People

  1. Terry says:

    Awesome revelation there. Now, I know that presenting myself as the one with a problem and in need of help opens massive doors in conflict resolution. This is because it helps the other party feel recognized. How do I strike the balance between these schools of thought?

    • says:

      I think it depends on what you want. If it’s advice you are looking for then yes it helps to be the one in need since the other person will feel important. It’s different when say, you want money from them.

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